Sorry, Mom.

My mom asked me if I want to join her and my sister on a vacation to somewhere that's far away this semester break. It'll take time more than a week. I told her I don't want to, since I already have a plan to go on a hike with my friends. The look on her eyes when I told her that I don't want to go was... So sad. I couldn't stand it, so I rushed to my bathroom immediately. 

You see, I didn't travel a lot during high school. Yes, I went to UAE. And Oman. We stayed in a hotel near a beautiful beach. Oman is awesome. I mean, I didn't travel with my friends. My mom wouldn't allow me. Now that I've reached legal age, my mom (finally) let me do (almost) anything that I want, as long as I consider any consequences that comes with anything I'm going to do.

She did it. She raised me right. I wasn't 16 and pregnant. I'm not a teen mom. I'm well-educated. I don't do drugs. I don't get drunk with boys (you know what drinks lead to). But I feel like I've lost my teenage years. When my dad passed away years ago, I told myself not to do stupid things so my mom won't get disappointed. I didn't go to my friends' parties, I didn't date, I spent my Saturday nights at home, I act like a 35yo woman, I wasn't a troubled teen, and the most important thing is, I didn't disappoint my mom.

I'm in college now, I'm a young adult (what's the difference between teenager and young adult?) and I finally able to go anywhere with my friends. Am I doing the right thing? I want to feel like a teenager. I want to feel alive. I want to have adventures so I'll have something to remember and tell my children. 

I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to make you sad. Hope you'll understand why I did what I did.

Love,
Ms. D