Ancestors

I talked to my grandma this morning. She told me about her siblings, her parents, her grandparents... Apparently, I have a drop of royal blood in me. I'll break it down to you.

My great-great-great grandparents were the Sultan and Sultana (pretty much like the king and queen) of Kesultanan Solo. The king had 4 wives, 19 children. It was not unusual for a Sultan to have more than one wife.
My great-great-grandpa is the 9th, he has 3 children. They lived in the colonial period. His wife has a long rifle, and she pointed it at him when he told her that he was going to marry another woman (he didn't marry that woman... A woman and her rifle are enough, I guess). Fortunately, back in the colonial era, the royal descendants were able to study abroad or in some kind of colonial schools with the colonies' children. One of his children went to study in Netherlands, married a local woman, and not coming back.
His son, my great-grandpa, is the founder of BPK-RI (Badan Pemeriksa Keuangan Republik Indonesia, or The Audit Board of the Republic of Indonesia), there's a museum (and a street. And a building) named after him. He married twice, and here's a shocking fact about him: his wives are sisters. He married the older one, she gave him 3 children, she died, he married his younger sister, she gave him 5 children... My grandma is the 3rd of 8. 
My grandma's siblings worked in different fields. Her 2 brothers were a minister and a doctor, her 5 sisters were a model, a translator, a lawyer, a doctor, a CEO... And my grandma is an engineer, the first woman in my country to be a metallurgy and mechanical engineer. Cool. She married my grandpa, an architect with a nuclear degree.

I want to know more about my family from my another grandma (my dad's mom), but she has Alzheimer's. She doesn't recognize me anymore. 

I've heard a lot of stories about my family. Some of them are so inspiring, and some of them are... Weird. One thing I know for sure: there's no stay-at-home mother for about 7 generations, and the nannies are the ones who take care of their children. It's like, 7 generations of mother issues. Now I know why I'm not into children.

Love,
Ms. D

When Opposites Attract

She's an above-average student, his GPA is not even close to her GPA, divided by two. She's an under-promise-over-deliver type of person, he's an over-promise-under-deliver type of person. She's a morning person, he's a night person. She's a planner, he's an impulsive. She's an adrenaline junkie, he's not into that kind of thing. She never misses any class, he barely come to his classes. Did you ever think that it was a cruel joke of nature that we find ourselves attracted to people very much unlike us? I mean, wouldn’t it be an awful lot simpler and a lot less messy if we tended to be drawn to those whose personalities are more like our own rather than those who seem like they are polar opposites of us. 

I don't even know why I fall so hard for that person. He annoys me a lot, I want to slap his face so hard. At the same time, I want him to hold my hand and look me in the eye the way Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams do in The Notebook. Crazy, huh? I miss him when he's not around, but get annoyed when he talks to me in person. 

When I fall in love, I fell in pattern. I always fell for a person whose personality is not so different from myself. But this time is different. I realized that nobody wants to date themselves, right? I'm looking for a complement, not someone identical. Opposing cultures, tastes and opinions can actually benefit a relationship by introducing each person to a whole new perspective.

But... Why him? Like my brain stopped working properly, then my heart decided to take over my brain's job to find a perfect partner for me. Why? WHY?!

Do opposites really attract?

Love,
Ms. D

Songs

I've been listening to John Legend's song "All of Me" a lot lately. It's such a beautiful song, super romantic, a little bit cheesy, but I love it. It's like that song was made on purpose to propose someone. I did a research, then I found out that "All of Me" was made by John Legend when he was about to propose to his wife. Awww she's so lucky.

Listening to some romantic songs makes me want to make a playlist (I already made that playlist on my iPod, it's called the ******* playlist. Silly name, you don't want to know more about that). Here's some of the song:
John Legend - All of Me
Bruno Mars - Marry You
Extreme - More than Words
Train - Marry Me
Zedd - Find You
Brian McKnight - Marry Your Daughter
Justin Timberlake - Mirrors
Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
Zedd - Clarity
The Beatles - All My Loving
Bryan Adams - Heaven
Christina Perri - A Thousand Years
Journey - Faithfully
Kristen Bell - Love is an Open Door
Bee Gees - How Deep is Your Love
The Beatles - Hold Me Tight
Michael Bublé - Everything
Frank Sinatra - I'll be Seeing You
Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing
Phil Collins - You'll be in My Heart

So... Dear future boyfriend, if you ever want to propose to me, please kindly play at least one of those song. I'll say yes. 

Love,
Ms. D

Sorry, Mom.

My mom asked me if I want to join her and my sister on a vacation to somewhere that's far away this semester break. It'll take time more than a week. I told her I don't want to, since I already have a plan to go on a hike with my friends. The look on her eyes when I told her that I don't want to go was... So sad. I couldn't stand it, so I rushed to my bathroom immediately. 

You see, I didn't travel a lot during high school. Yes, I went to UAE. And Oman. We stayed in a hotel near a beautiful beach. Oman is awesome. I mean, I didn't travel with my friends. My mom wouldn't allow me. Now that I've reached legal age, my mom (finally) let me do (almost) anything that I want, as long as I consider any consequences that comes with anything I'm going to do.

She did it. She raised me right. I wasn't 16 and pregnant. I'm not a teen mom. I'm well-educated. I don't do drugs. I don't get drunk with boys (you know what drinks lead to). But I feel like I've lost my teenage years. When my dad passed away years ago, I told myself not to do stupid things so my mom won't get disappointed. I didn't go to my friends' parties, I didn't date, I spent my Saturday nights at home, I act like a 35yo woman, I wasn't a troubled teen, and the most important thing is, I didn't disappoint my mom.

I'm in college now, I'm a young adult (what's the difference between teenager and young adult?) and I finally able to go anywhere with my friends. Am I doing the right thing? I want to feel like a teenager. I want to feel alive. I want to have adventures so I'll have something to remember and tell my children. 

I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to make you sad. Hope you'll understand why I did what I did.

Love,
Ms. D

Why?

I didn't know why I decided to enroll in medical school. I mean, it takes a lot of work, a lot of time, a lot of money, sweat, and tears (seriously, there were times when you couldn't understand any of your lectures and all that you could do was cry). 

People ask me (a lot), why did I enroll here? Well, I just did. It's not the best answer, but that's all that I can say. I wanted to be a metallurgy engineer like my grandma (she's the first woman in my country who majored in metallurgy and mechanical engineering. Wow. Just wow) or a nuclear engineer like my grandpa (he was an architect, too. My mom said that he could make a bunker!). Or a chef. I cook very well. My knife skills are great. 

I told my mom that I wanted to be a chef, but she didn't (still doesn't!) like the idea of me being a chef. She even said to me once that I'm going to end up working in some fast food chains. How mean. 

So here I am. A medical student. It's a looooong journey. 7 semesters of sweat and tears to get your undergraduate degree, plus 4 semesters of (even more) sweat and tears to be a general practitioner. Wait, there's more! 8-10 semesters of medical specialty education to become a medical specialist. Soooo I will be 25 years old (7.5 years of medical school plus 2 years of internship) when I'm able to support myself.

I have a biology test tomorrow and I haven't studied anything yet. Instead of studying, I'm writing this post. I guess it's time to do what I have to do. Goodnight!

Love,
Ms. D